The More Flexible Decision

In life, you will be faced with many decisions.  Did you know that Americans spend 2 full months a year wavering about what decision to make?  I just made that up, but I'm sure there's a lot of back and forth.  When you're in high school and college, you'll see.  After a nice dinner, you'll be standing outside in the cold with your friends trying to figure out where to go, what to do, and it'll take about half an hour to finally commit to something in that parking lot.  Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Sometimes a decision can't be made in the amount of time you're given.  For example, the blue shirt or the red shirt?  Do I buy this gym membership today because it's a great deal, or don't I?  Should I sign up for this class?

There's a simple rule that I like to follow: make the more flexible decision.  

Ooh, there's another rule too: will your life be lacking if you don't [insert major purchase here, like "buy this car" or "join this multi-level marketing group"].

Let's stick with the flexible decision this time though.

If you're in a store, and you're wondering "should I buy this or shouldn't I", or deciding between multiple items, think about the decisions that you have available.  If you're not sure whether or not to buy something, check the return policy.  Is it returnable for a full refund, and is going back not too inconvenient (i.e. you're not traveling in Germany)?  If so, get it.  Think about it later, while you're in the car or consult a friend or family member.  Why?  Because it's the more flexible decision.  If you buy it, you can return it, but if you don't buy it, you may come back and it'll be gone.  Pick the decision that lets you pick the "other" decision if you change your mind later.

Same with deciding between two sets of drapes or something.  If there's a good return policy, buy them both!  Just make sure you return the one you end up not using.

That's pretty much it.  Given a situation where you're forced to make a choice, try to pick the one (if available) that gives you more flexibility.

By the time you read this, I can honestly say I love you guys.  (And "guys" is a non-gender-specific term, at least where I'm concerned)

The Thrill of Shopping

There's times that I feel the need to just "buy" something.  Your mom has that urge too from time to time.  It can't be explained except that we're brought up in a society that encourages us to shop.  "It's good for the economy", they say.  Funny that every transaction (earning money, spending money) involves taxation of some sort.  The only type that doesn't, for the most part, is getting a refund.  That's where this cool tip comes in.

You know what commercials are, right?  And advertising?  And those e-mails that you get telling you that you need something to enrich your life?  That's all called marketing.  It's basically the concept that someone wants you to put your money into their hands.  So they'll tell you that you're not pretty enough, cool enough, fashionable enough, etc. in order to make that happen.  Eventually you feel "happier" or "better" by making a purchase.  Even a soda or a coffee purchase brings delight.

So how do you satisfy this trained craving without being poor?  The answer lies in the impulse.  When we go shopping, things feel "different".  A shirt or pair of pants may look really great in the store all the way up to the dressing room, but once we take it home it may sit in our closet, unused, for months.  It's okay to give in to these impulse purchases, but only on one condition: make sure it's returnable.

Things you buy online more than likely will be either unreturnable, or a complete hassle to return.  For that reason, try to restrict your online purchases to items that you know you want for certain, i.e. you already know it's your brand / size, or it could be some other item like a television or a book or DVD (if they still make those when you read this).  For your in-store purchases, keep your receipts and know your return policies.  Some stores state that you can't return items that are open (like video games, movies and music) while others may say "All Sales Final".  In 2007 we have the amazing store called Target, which allows returns for up to 45 days on most items, and the superior Costco which allows returns for up to 90 days on some items and unrestricted returns on others.

We try not to abuse the system.  Most of our returns are a result of realizing that we changed our mind, or we bought multiple types of items and decided which ones to keep later (see future post The More Flexible Decision).  For the most part we return items unused, despite what Uncle Matt probably keeps telling you about the infamous deep fryer.

Regardless, getting a refund is like "shopping for money".  Instead of giving money and taking home goods, you get to give goods and take home money.  Sort of how a plant breathes in the CO2 that we exhale, and vice versa... but not really.

Anyway, I recently went on a spending spree and plunked down over $800 in a single transaction, but ended up eventually returning everything two weeks later.  I got to feel the Thrill of Shopping, but I allowed myself an "out" in case I made a mistake, which I did.

Whatever you can extract from this, please do, but the basic point is, it's okay to impulse shop if you leaving yourself a way to fix it later if necessary.

Letting go

About two months ago your mother and I were in the midst of one of the worst fires ever seen in San Diego up until this date. It may become a footnote in the future, but at the time it ranked so high on the disaster scale that everything on local television shut down except for fire coverage.  We had no idea whether or not we needed to evacuate, or even if we'd lose our home.

Your mom and I packed up everything "important" just in case the fires were to consume our house, and as we were going through our stuff, besides the usual important documents and mementos, we realized that... there's very little that's absolutely essential for us to keep.  Which meant that all of the many many objects and trinkets that we've collected over the years weren't so necessary for us to keep after all once we reviewed it.

This is going to contrast another post that I have coming up (Of Pictures and Video), but the realization reminded me of something my father, your Opa, told me many times.  My mother, your Oma, is the type of person who attaches sentiment and meaning to "things", and holds onto them.  Opa, on the other hand, wants to simplify his life by getting rid of what he calls "junk".

I inherited both traits, but this post refers to Opa's way of thinking.  I have collected and amassed so much in my 32 years so far of living, and it's mostly my stuff that makes the house so full.  Your mother accounts for the Master Bedroom closet sure, but her items are more the decor of the house.  Her stuff hangs on walls and makes the house look pretty, but my stuff tends to crowd up the closets and bookshelves.

I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this, but it feels right to share.

There are times that I look around at the things that I have and feel that I want to share them with you, my children, when you become old enough to enjoy them.  Like my Transformers action figures.  Back in 1984 when Transformers were first released, they were "simple" to transform.  They took more work then their competitor (known as Gobots... you can look it up if you really want) but they were the type of toy that a young 10-year old could figure out.  Nowadays in 2007, being able to "pose" your Transformers has become important for some reason.  The metal has been replaced with plastic, and usability has been sacrificed in order to make the robot modes more flexible.  Transforming the toy, which is arguably the funnest part, can take up to an hour for the "cooler" Transformers.  For that reason I was looking through my old toys this weekend, ready to sell them on ebay, and had to stop myself so that I could save them for you.  Even if you end up being all girls.

I keep in mind though that of all the things that I've amassed, that I'm just one person.  There will be potentially up to 5 of us including your mother living in our house one day, and if I could build up this much stuff... so could all of you.  And my stuff's already so much.

So I really want to make it a point to hold onto only the really really important stuff.  Don't fall into the trap of consumerism and feel the need to "buy" things (unless they're returnable... see my future post The Thrill of Shopping for that one).  One more thing, too.  If you ever hold onto something for the sake of "one day I might need it, but I don't need it now", think about this: Does it cost more (in money) for you to buy it again when you do need it so many years from now, or does it cost more (in space) to hold onto it for that many years?  Let the answer be your guide to keeping or dumping.

To think that I was going to talk about the fires here... but really, there shouldn't need to be a fire for you to think about the things that are really important in life: your health and your loved ones.