It is Important to Take Time Off

I am really bad at taking days off. Everyone gives me a really hard time about this, from your dad to my co-workers. It even showed up on an evaluation that my peers did of me at work. I scored amazingly in teamwork and leadership, but everyone agreed that I do not take enough time off for myself. Even if I do take a day off, I always answer my cell phone or check my emails, or I sneak into work "just for a little bit." If I am sick, I suffer through it and hardly ever leave early even though if someone on my staff so much as sniffles, I make them go home. I don't think I've taken one sick day in my two years here. I wait until I absolutely cannot take it anymore and end up getting really sick or falling apart some other way. I hope you understand that this is not good AT ALL. I have a very stressful job in which I manage a lot of people under often intense conditions. Burning out is something that can so easily happen in my industry, especially in my position. So I've vowed that this year, for my physical and mental well-being, I must take more time off to provide some balance.

My boss tells me, "When you die it is not going to say on your tombstone, 'She had the most vacation days saved up.'" And this is so true. I'm always worried about hoarding my vacation days for when it's absolutely "worth it" or I worry about spending money and time to go on a vacation. But as my co-worker told me last night over beers, "If it comes down to paying off the house, the car, or buying a dinettte set OR going on a vacation, take the vacation! Years from now you won't even think of the money that's not in the bank, but you WILL remember your vacation and the memories you made."

Your dad and I don't go on nearly enough vacations. We usually end up going to Vegas or something close and easy. But whenever we do go on vacation, it's always wonderful. We do make amazing memories like when we went to San Francisco w/ Uncle Matt and Auntie Jen or Santa Barbara just by ourselves. However, it's not always easy to take days off to go somewhere. It requires time and planning, not to mention your dad recently took a new job so his vacation days are not quite saved up yet. So more often now, I will take off days by myself for no reason. I'll sleep in late, go shopping, get a massage or have lunch with a friend. And you know what? It's very worth it, every single time. I've made a promise to myself to take care of ME this year, and taking time off is one huge way I am going to do that. That way, when you kids finally come along, I will be well-rested and ready for you. =)

Of Pictures and Video

Time passes us by at an insane speed.  Every year you'll think "Is it already May?  I thought the year just started!"  "Is it already Summer?" "Fall?" "Christmas?"  and before you know it, the year has passed.

Life is a cycle.  Our culture has imposed it upon us to celebrate certain "checkpoints" each year in a certain timeframe.  Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries... the last two months of each year are spent frantically looking for just the right Christmas presents.

Growing up, I didn't like it when Oma always wanted to take pictures of us at family parties or even just at dinner in some random restaurant when we were celebrating a birthday.  As we got older I learned to understand why she did so.  We change, we grow, and before you know it, some of us are gone.

When a life is over, all we have left of that life are our memories.  Our loved ones that were taken from us too early, our parents and grandparents who lived their lives fully, our pets that have passed on... we build our entire lives every single day, and reflecting on that, being able to revisit those memories, that's so precious.

There's a song in a musical (Avenue Q) that sticks out to me every time I hear it.  The song is about college reminiscence, and one character states "I wish I had taken more pictures".  That's how I feel about our little Bella, who we've taken lots of pictures but very little video of her as a pup before she got bigger.  She's amazing as her coat started out black, and faded to a light brown ever so slightly over the last 6 months.

6 months!  That's what I'm talking about.  Some days life drags on, but overall, the years will only get shorter.  I think that's because when you're 4 years old, your fifth year is 20% of your life, but when you're 9 years old, the next year is only 10%, and so forth.  So the younger you are, the longer a year feels, but as you get older, the years go by tremendously quickly.

That's not just it of course.  It's so easy to get caught up in the stress of life.  There's so much that we have to do every day that at the end of it all, life can pass us by.

So I suppose there's two things that I want to say here.  One, capture moments as often as you can.  You never know when a proud moment with someone you love may be the last great moment that you have together.  Two, try to cherish what you have when you have it.  It's too easy to take for granted things that feel like they'll never go away.  There is so much that life gives us.  Take a moment and enjoy it.

Just Do It in 2008

Okay, so I don't know if you kids are just going to laugh at me for using a Nike slogan, but it really captures how I feel right now: Just Do It. I've been really stressed at work this month and really, this whole year. It's been a tough year and it ended on sort of a reflective note for me. Your dad and I just went out on New Year's Eve and partied our butts off. We danced, drank (responsibly of course, haha), and had the time of our lives. I remember in the middle of it, as the music pounded and we were dancing and laughing so hard, your Auntie Jen screamed, "I DON'T CARE ABOUT WORK RIGHT NOW!" It was so awesome.

Every decision we have made, lately, seems to be really practical and safe--partially because it has to be. I mean, we both have really demanding jobs, a big mortgage and bills to pay, responsibilities to our families, and friends that we don't ever seem to visit enough. So it was nice to tell your dad about a month ago that I really just wanted to be OUT and go crazy on New Year's Eve for once. Next thing I know, your dad books some oh-my-God expensive tickets on a yacht party and convinces some of our friends to join us. So many times I was thinking, do we really need to do this? It's so expensive! It's such a pain to dress up! Blah, blah, blah. But then I said, eh, forget it, let's just DO IT. And it was one of the most fabulous nights we've had in a while.

It really got me thinking. We haven't traveled that much, we haven't spent enough time together, we haven't partied enough, we haven't just DONE THINGS. We have spent the last couple of years planning, planning, planning almost EVERY detail of our lives from our wedding, to our home purchase, to our career moves. So this year, 2008, we've decided we want to at least try and travel to a few places like Chicago and New York, partially inspired by your Auntie Jen and Uncle Matt. They want to do places like Texas, Italy, and Japan--how cool! I mean, I have like, a month of vacation saved up and it's growing more every day, so before you little rugrats (I say that affectionately) come along, your dad and I need to make sure we build those memories together and know that we DID IT.